Aloha Tube reviewback
Do you harken to the days when no one shaved their pubes? What about the days when men wore pounds of gold chains while sporting wrap-around sunglasses? Do you get a raging boner when you see women with giant goddamn permed hair and waist-high pants so tight that you can see the outline of their asshole?
If so, then you probably grew up in an era where someone with a fanny pack and a cell phone guaranteed that they were a drug dealer. Or maybe you have a fetish for fucking atrocious fashions. Perhaps you have a fetish for watching people that you know are already either dead or living the rest of their life in an assisted living facility. I don’t know what gets you off!
What I do know is that if you want to watch an impressive collection of vintage pornography, AlohaTube.com/Vintage has what you need. Even if you don’t give a shit about old porn, looking through the library can be interesting in its own right. You may enjoy seeing how far porn has come and laughing along the way.
But I’ll warn you. Even though all of the porn on AlohaTube.com/Vintage is old by today’s standards, some of it is still hot as fuck. You may cum before you know it, don’t think that you won’t!
Over 129,000 vintage videosAre you impressed by how much fucking vintage porn is out there? You should not be. Many porn historians out there make it their life’s mission to upload and preserve all types of old porn. Whether it was found on a VHS tape, a scratched as fuck DVD, or a reel-to-reel before home video entertainment was thought about, there are experts out there that know how to preserve it.
Consider yourself lucky that there are so many horny bastards out there that have more to do in their life than jerk off to every porn video imaginable. When you consider this, though, it should not come as a surprise that there are over 129,000 vintage videos to choose from on AlohaTube.com/Vintage. There is new vintage pornography (that sounds like a fucking oxymoron, doesn’t it?) coming out regularly. Though, don’t get too pissed when you don’t see a regular stream of vintage porn one day to the next.
That’s because you cannot really add to vintage porn. You cannot create New vintage porn, you dense mother fucker. You have to wait on time itself to start making older types of porn vintage. Not everyone can agree on what constitutes vintage porn as it is. Some think that if the pornography doesn’t have some dude in thigh-high denim shorts with a creeper mustache, then it isn’t vintage. Some feel that some vintage porn can be found on DVDs nowadays.
The definition is broad. You may even have your own views on what vintage is and what is deemed newer. But whether we are discussing porn from the 1900s through the 2000s, most of the people in the porn are washed up with genitals smaller and drier than old fucking prunes. If your dick can’t get harder than a fucking raisin, I think that means you’re vintage in some way.
All kinds of vintage videos and moviesI don’t know what you consider vintage or old pornography. Frankly, I don’t really give a fuck. All you have to know is that AlohaTube.com/Vintage has all kinds of sexy old porn videos that you will find something that gets you off in no time at all. And you don’t have to look that far if I’m goddamn honest. There is a ton of porn on here that will make you want to click just for the curiosity of it all.
To say that AlohaTube.com/Vintage has all kinds of porn from various points in the history of pornography is a vast understatement. There is porn from basically any decade that you can think of. Oh yes, the porn videos on here are older than the 70s, when porn began to pop up in New York City theaters while Giuliani probably snuck in the back and jerked off with the rest of them.
I noticed porn that went as far back as the 1920s! ThePornDude is not bullshitting you; I watched a clip that had no sound. There were only written words stating what was said and the action happening in the video. Just because it was an old-as-fuck video does not mean that it lacked regarding action!
It turns out that even nearly 100-years ago, people were still as horny and perverted as they are now. This guy had a large fucking cock, and the gal in the video wrapped her mouth around it like she had done that sort of shit before. She wanted his dick badly and told him to ‘wrap it in a fish skin’ so she wouldn’t get pregnant; he came twice!
After jacking off to a porn video filmed in 1925, I found myself wishing that the sorting options were better here. Especially when it comes to vintage porn! AlohaTube.com/Vintage needs to allow visitors to browse videos by the decade! If there is porn from nearly 100-years ago on the tube site, there has to be porn out there from other decades as well!
Imagine being able to browse porn from the 30s, 40s, and so on. Or porn from an even earlier decade than the 1920s, if applicable. Not only would it be fun to explore, but it would make jumping to your preferred decade fast as hell.
Videos load extremely fastSpeaking of things loading fast as hell, when I began watching a video on AlohaTube.com/Vintage, I noticed that it loaded fast as fuck. I don’t know what I was expecting, to be honest. I didn’t think the videos on AlohaTube.com/Vintage would buffer for a long time.
But to see them nearly instantaneous is pretty fucking impressive. Maybe it could have something to do with the fact that the bitrates on these videos pale compared to the HD content that users typically watch on tube sites. Since the resolution is so low and the content is decades-old on AlohaTube.com/Vintage, you won’t have to wait a long time for things to load for the most part.
This is probably the reason there are so many full-length movies on AlohaTube.com/Vintage. When the size of the movies is comparable or even smaller than a lot of HD clips, you know that it’s effortless to load and watch these works of historical art no matter which device you are on.
That’s good news because AlohaTube.com/Vintage loads fast on mobile and desktop. When you consider that you can watch porn from decades ago instantly on a cellular connection, it almost blows your mind. Do you think that when these hot bitches were getting fucked in the ass in the 80s, they thought some pervert would be jerking off in the stall of a fast-food restaurant on the phone? Probably not, but it’s cool that you can!
Video listings could be more informativeEven though there are tens of thousands of vintage porn videos and full-length moves to watch on AlohaTube.com/Vintage, it isn’t a perfect site. For starters, the video listings could have more information and be more helpful than they are. Each listing only shows the title, duration, thumbnail, and when the content was uploaded. There is no information about the view count, the rating, or even when the content was initially released.
Granted, that last point about the year of the original production is sometimes included in titles. Uploaders have figured out that plenty of people want to know about the year and how old this shit is. The point still stands, though. There needs to be better info in each of these listings.
On top of that, the sorting options for each video listing could be a lot better. As it stands, there are only two ways to sort content: top rated and newest. It’s good news if you want to look at the most popular and newest content, but what about the oldest? What if you want to look at the most widely viewed vintage videos on AlohaTube.com/Vintage? You cannot really do it.
When you consider that a lot of the content on AlohaTube.com/Vintage isn’t free, you start to see some of the holes on the site. Some of the videos don’t even seem to be hosted on AlohaTube.com/Vintage, to begin with. For example, when I clicked on one video, it brought up a sign-up page for a PornHub Premium account. It felt like the content was hosted on PornHub, with that direct URL linked on AlohaTube.com/Vintage.
Even though AlohaTube.com/Vintage leaves a bit to be desired in some areas, it is still worth the visit. If you love vintage porn, you’re going to have a great time getting your jerk on here. Check it out, look at a few of your favorites, and masturbate to the lovely ladies of yesteryear!