Now, this is a story all about how, I
discovered the greatest porn source of them all, but I accidentally
yank on my dick so hard that the damn thing nearly fell off. A bit of
rhythm and rhyme to get us started off, and boy am I looking forward to
talking to you about this particular porn section. But first, some
obligatory background information.
I’ll spare you the usual spiel about how I’m strictly into animated
Asian pussy because hentai babes can’t say no and I’ve got a tiny penis
and I believe that they would better appreciate my tiny penis because
they have tiny vaginas. I know you’re busy and I’ll fly past right to
the point. Besides, at this point, even ThePornDude must have heard that
I’m a hentai loving fuck with a tiny cock. The point has officially
When I’m not jacking my good old dick off to drawn and usually blurred
out pussies, I swap over to the real flesh and blood vaginas, usually
while they’re taking several dildos at a time, because I’m that
particular kind of sick fuck. If a woman isn’t properly plugged up six
ways to Sunday, I’m not having a good time.
In my never-ending exploration to find the best hardcore smut on the
internet, a few years ago I accidentally stumbled onto a single video on
XHamster. I wasn’t paying much attention as to how or why the video was
written entirely in Spanish, down to the comments section - I was too
busy jacking off. The title of the video was something like “Teen girl
in lingerie”, which I had to translate over from Spanish, but naturally,
I did that later when I got curious. When I first discovered the video
however, I was too busy staring at the screen, slack-jawed because I had
never seen something so hot in my entire goddamn life.
The Hottest Girls. Period.
I would never call a particular race or culture of women the most
anything, because that would be an extreme bias and kind of culturally
insensitive. I know that every country has its beauties and they’re all
worth taking a pounding by ThePornDude, followed by me jacking off to
their sex tape.
But there’s just something about Latinas and porn that I simply can’t
put my finger on. The video I mentioned earlier of the teen in lingerie,
that was part of XHamster’s Latina section and I genuinely hadn’t
noticed until I saw the recommended videos below. As it turns out, I had
begun my journey down a rabbit hole of equally mind-blowing videos that
were simply incomparable to the regular smut I’d seen on other
Ok so, I’m kind of dragging on here - you probably want to know what it
is that makes these girls so special, and the answer is: I don’t fucking
know. It seems like every single video that was made by a Latina
camwhore, whether she’s taking the dick or shoving dildos up her ass, is
better in quality and quantity than any other video I’ve seen on other
sections of XHamster, or really any other site.
You know that feeling you get when you’re watching a cam girl talk to
the camera and you think to yourself: “Yes, that’s very interesting, but
I want to see your pink asshole, not listen to you talk about your
day”. With other camwhores, you don’t get your wish. You have to wait
and wait while the video drags on and she gives the dildo a little peck,
then she’ll lick around the tip, then seventeen hours later she might
just insert the tip and the stream will end. - Garbage.
With Latinas on XHamster, you get none of that. That video I mentioned
above, as well as every other similar goddamn video on the site, starts
with the girl fully clothed, and by the first minute mark she’s either
entirely nude or sporting a very skimpy g-string, and before you can say
“Baby, please take it off”, bam, she’s got a giant dildo in her ass.
There’s also the sex poses where the girls will stretch out across the
bed and just sort of casually pleasure themselves and all you can think
to yourself is: Gee, I wish she would bend over so I could see the
business end. Bam. Latinas provide. I know it sounds like I’m trying to
sell you a goddamn timeshare by telling you everything you want to hear,
but this is XHamster. Their videos are free, and I sure as shit don’t
have an incentive to lie to you.
Every single Latina video on their goddamn site has the same common
thread. The girls are either hot or cut-my-dick-off-and-throw-it-at-them
super-hot, and every single one of them shows you what you want to see,
rather than some sort of camwhore reach around that will bore you to
Now I don’t want you to freak out over what I’m about to say next, but I
think you’re going to have to break out the old “Conversation in
Spanish for Dummies” book that’s been gathering dust on your shelf for
the past 10 years, because the real OG smut on here is written entirely
Don’t get me wrong, there’s tons of porn that you’ll find under the
Latina section without having to actually write a single word in
Spanish. Most of them are written in English just the same. But in my
experience, the ones that are in English are usually the triple-A
production preview clips from major sites that feature Latina women
directed by American men who are pushing them through the same goddamn
carrot and stick game of “20 minutes of non-stop anal with an alpha
behemoth”. You don’t want that. Trust me. I’m here to help you jack off
better, faster and stronger. Stick to the Latina section, but use
Spanish words. And once you arrive at a single Spanish video, the
recommendations will flood with other similar smut.
Why are these videos better than most? It’s simple. The ones written in
Spanish, especially bad Spanish with no capital letters or punctuation,
are uploaded by casual perverts like you and me, but like, Spanish
speaking casual perverts who either found or made the smut they are
uploading. And because these videos are in Spanish the time before they
get taken down for being too hot is much longer, so you’re likely to
find every kind of smut on here.
It’s like a pocket dimension of XHamster that you never knew existed, in
which everyone speaks a language you don’t understand, but the vaginas
are hotter and wetter than anywhere else. It’s a dream come true in
every single way.
It’s XHamster, do you seriously need my help with this? All right, well,
XHamster is to porn as I am to porn reviews. That is, second best.
They’re up there with the greats, and while they are not the absolute
best, they always show promise and their library is growing as fast as
humanly possible, and that includes the Latina section, so I wouldn’t
worry. And who knows, maybe someday they’ll be the biggest domain of
Latina-centric pornography. And maybe someday I’ll be the number 1 porn
reviewer on the planet. But the only way I see that happening is if
ThePornDude has a stroke from having too many Latinas in a row. You
In conclusion, if you’re looking for some hot nubile looking girls with
irrationally large asses, perfect breasts and an undying thirst for more
dildos in their asses, you’ve come to the right place. These videos are
unfiltered, usually unchecked, and generally uploaded by perverts like
you and me who care about proper smut. Further, XHamster’s recommended
or related video section is ridiculously well made. Kudos to whoever
programmed that bit of code. If you open up one Latina video that has
you writhing in pleasure pains, you’re definitely going to see a ton
more of the same stuff, but with different girls, in the related videos.
You don’t get bounced around towards different sections of the site.
XHamster understands that when you’re looking at hot juicy Latina asses
filled with cum or vaginal ooze, you want to stay for as long as
possible. And if you make an account on the site you can even download
these videos for free, and personally, I would recommend that you do.
Some of these Latina vids are so hot that you’re going to want to
rewatch them on repeat, preferably forever.