When ThePornDude first made the
universe and populated it with men and women, man came to ThePornDude
and asked: PornDude, what is the hole between my wife’s legs? And
ThePornDude replied: That is the pleasure dome, my son, you must earn
it, cherish it, and use it to make tiny humans so that they too can
enjoy porn in the future. Then man asked: But PornDude, what about the
other hole, the one around the corner? And ThePornDude replied: My son,
that’s where you stick it when you actually want to have fun and not end
up on the hook for alimony payments 9 months down the line.
And so anal was invented, a few seconds after vaginal was discovered.
And these days’ anal sex is viewed in such high regard in the porn
industry that it’s considered bread and butter. I’ve heard from my
friends who are not virgins like myself that real everyday girls are not
so keen on taking it up the pooper, but that’s hardly my problem as
women wouldn’t let me touch them one way or another.
In porn though, both the really prudish and the really flexible girls
that take cock for money have gotten used to the idea of stretching
their assholes far and wide for the dollar, and for the camera, and for
us to enjoy. I’m very glad that this is the standard because there’s
something super satisfying about watching a girl take cock up a hole
that’s really mostly made for expending rather than taking. But these
girls are professionals. I wouldn’t be surprised if they had a medical
anal specialist behind the scenes to guide them through the experience
in a safe and controlled way. Either way, as a consumer it’s all the
same to me. I want to see prolapsed and destroyed anuses, over and over
again, and pretend that my 2-incher might someday do similar damage to a
similarly hot girl.
An Odd Place to Find Anal Porn
So before we segue into the anal on YesPornPlease I gotta give a bit of
information on the site because this place has me very confused. I’ve
known YesPornPlease for a while and have jacked it to their content
quite a few times before, but I never bothered to dig into them a little
deeper and figure out what they’re actually serving up and how.
What I mean by this is that their content doesn’t make a lot of sense. I
mean, it’s all high-quality content from other third-party websites
that are very famous triple-A studios, mostly from the US. I’m talking
names like Brazzers and Reality Kings here, so you know this is the
crème de la crème of the porn world. The weird thing is, they serve up
entire videos, not just previews, for you to enjoy for free. Normally
these sites market themselves on aggregate tube sites like Beeg for
instance, where you can see either tons of previews or some long videos
that they sites are serving up for free, as samples.
But on YesPornPlease it’s very different. You get the entire videos, the
premium shit, the fresh smut that has just come out and you don’t have
to pay a cent. So let’s assume for a second that the site is actually
being paid by these sites to market their porn. That wouldn’t make a lot
of sense because they’re already supplying the porn. The money has to
move in the other direction. Ok, so that would mean that YesPornPlease
is making money from ads, except… there are no ads. Seriously, there are
no ads, at all. The entire site is a ghost town other than the videos
that they serve up.
So they’re not marketing the triple-A sites, nor are they on their
payroll, so what does that mean? Well if I had to venture a guess I’d
say that this is a pirating website, given that the community can serve
up content freely, and you can see the watermarks in most of the videos,
blatantly sitting there. So it’s less of a tube site and more of a
community sharing tube for premium videos. But who am I to judge? I can
neither endorse nor criticize what they’re doing. And who knows, maybe
they are legitimate in some way that I am not informed of.
Let’s get to the good stuff already. So the site is free and it’s loaded
with videos, and thanks to the community they’re properly tagged and
categorized. That means that when you land on their anal section you see
the butt, the butt, and nothing but the butt. There are tons of
high-quality anal videos on here, and because they come from different
sites, the niches in between vary like crazy. You get a lot of diversity
and variety, so it’s not all the same kind of smut, over and over
You’ve got skinny girls, big girls, tall girls, small girls, blondes and
brunettes with some gingers in between, sometimes shoved together in
one bed, but always and without exception taking something large up
their poopers. Sometimes it’s a shared dildo, other times it’s a
strapon, but most of the time it’s a huge, expertly trained, alpha male,
ThePornDude inspired, super-cock.
Half of the girls in these videos don’t even look like they could handle
anal penetration, if you know what I mean. They look innocent and very…
tight. They give you the impression that they might be complete and
utter virgins by the looks of things, but a minute into the video they
take a 12 incher, thick ass dad-meat up their poopers and you know
you’ve been had. They take the meat like a pro and they do so 30 minutes
at a time. It’s absolutely amazing.
Since the anal on this site is taken straight from quality production
companies, it’s no surprise that it’s all extremely well made and well
directed. The videos are pristine and crystal clear. You can see the
anal prolapse up and close and you can sure as hell see the pain in
these girls’ eyes as they take it up the poop chute.
But there is bad news too, I’m afraid. The site hosts all of the videos
in up to 720p, with the option to watch them in 480p and 360p. For
mobile users, this is awesome, because 480p videos look great on tiny
screens and load relatively fast. On the other hand, for PC users, 720p
is a bit of a compromise, but the high quality of the original recording
kind of makes up for it. You don’t lose much to compression in the end,
as far as I’m concerned.
Whether we’re focused on the anal or not, there’s very little to be said
about YesPornPlease’s website. On the one hand, their design is
absolutely wonderful, because there isn’t any design to speak of. The
site is an absolute ghost town of nothing but a black background, a
title, and porn videos. And sure, there’s a categories section, but in
between these features and the fact that there are no ads, you’ve pretty
much-seen everything they have to offer.
I have to give them props for keeping the site clean though, because the
more screen space allocated for the smut, the better. I appreciate
websites that let me enjoy the content I’ve come for, instead of
cramming colors and graphics in my face. This ain’t a video game – it’s a
On the other hand, I really hate their video player to the point that I
genuinely don’t enjoy the site sometimes because of it. Now, I’m not
sure whether it’s the player itself or their servers, or the possibility
that they might be hosting their videos on third party websites and
just embedding them – I do not know. One way or another the problem is
that the videos load really slowly, and you can’t skip through them
without having to wait for them to load again. Even 480p is a nightmare
to load and watch. But once the video starts and you’re jacking off
already, it won’t stop unless you try to skip ahead, so at least there’s
Finally, I’ll give them props for having the option to download videos,
if you sign up for a free account. Free signups are never a problem, and
it’s not like they make you give them your credit card information or
anything. It’s a proper free account with which you can download any of
the videos to your computer, and I’d advise that you do just that.
They’re much easier to watch once you’ve downloaded them because
streaming on the site is, as I just mentioned, very tedious.