Hentai Pros! The debate on whether or not amateur or professional porn is superior has been raging for decades and seems no closer to being resolved than it was when it started. In one corner, some prefer the authentic realism that comes with girls and guys fucking for the love of sex rather than the love of money, but others like the high-quality filming, resolution, and women that come with big business. Since I’ve never actually touched a woman I can’t really appreciate the supposed realism of amateur porn, so I think I’ll give the slight edge to the pro stuff. Furthermore, amateur hentai films don’t really exist, so the win goes to professional porn when it comes to hentai. And since hentai is the true gentleman’s favored type of porn, I think that means that professional porn wins the battle entirely. That’s why I was happy when I discovered HentaiPros. Well, that and the fact that the thumbnails on the teaser landing page were so hot that I blew a load in my jeans the second I went there. I guess it’s time for mommy to do another load of laundry… I hope she spanks me again…
First Thing’s First…
When it comes to evaluating porn, the only thing that really matters, in the end, is how easy or difficult the porn is to jerk off to. We’re all busy people (myself excluded) and we’ve got better things to do (myself excluded) than to spend all day masturbating to porn. So let’s get that out of the way—HentaiPros aren’t lying in their name. This is good, professional stuff. The quality is high, the plots are as tight as the women, and the subtitles (which come along with every video) mean you won’t actually have to learn something useful like another language to enjoy the videos. On top of that, there is a lot of content. Though there are plenty of hentai sites that brag about having videos that are totally exclusive to their site, this often comes at the cost of library size. Not so with HentaiPros—you won’t ever run out of videos here. And, even if you somehow could watch every single video that the site had on the day you signed up, by the time you ran through the back catalog there would be a whole new world of videos for you to explore thanks to HentaiPRos’ rapid upload rate. And, let’s be honest—in my case, seeing as I’m the only person I’ll actually care about, I’ll probably be dead from a heart attack by the time I get through their library, so I’m not really too worried about it.
The Japanese Aesthetic
The layout of the site perfectly fits the high quality of HentaiPros’ videos. When you first enter the mystical island of Japan, you’ll see each film sorted by upload date. A new one comes by about once a week, and there’s a fairly solid catalog of old films to go through. Pretty much everyone is exceptionally good in just about every way, from the quality of the animation, the video resolution, and how outlandish the plots and acting are. Since essentially every video is great, this isn’t as bad of a method of exploring the site as it might be elsewhere. Very few of the videos are bad, so you could probably just blindfold yourself, click at random, and end up with something that you’ll be able to masturbate to (after you take off the blindfold). But if you’re not feeling quite that lucky, the Top Rated and Most Viewed sections will let you skip to a listing of the best of the best, instead. And if none of that is meeting your needs, you can switch over to the list of categories that HentaiPros classifies their videos into. Thankfully, these aren’t just your standard porn categories, but instead are specific to hentai—you’ll still find the basic ones like anal, big tits, and blowjobs that overlap between the two types of porn, but you’ll also have more niche stuff like ahegao (that cute face anime girls make when they’re getting fucked), futanari (chicks with dicks), and harems (which normally only happen to guys like ThePornDude in real life, but tend to happen to losers like me in hentai). They’ve even got categories that are totally the real of fantasy, like big dick. Because nobody has a dick that big, right? That’s totally unrealistic. Right?
Exchanging Your Yen
That pretty much covers everything I have to say about the porn on HentaiPros, but don’t mistake my brevity on the site for disappointment—instead, it’s just that the site is so good that I really don’t have anything else to say. It’s a lot easier to say what’s wrong with a porn site than what’s right, and pretty much nothing is wrong with HentaiPros. But no hentai, no matter how fantastically life affirmingly hot it might be, is worth it if the price isn’t right—at least, it isn’t worth it if you don’t have access to mommy’s credit card like I do. I’d pay anything for HentaiPros, but that’s probably mostly due to the fact that it wouldn’t actually be my money. The best deal, as it often is, comes with the longest subscription term. If you sign up for a whole year in advance, your rate will work out to a very affordable ten dollars per month. If that’s a little too much to spend at a time, your other options are a quarter of a year for sixty dollars (which works out to twenty dollars per month), or you a monthly subscription plan for thirty dollars each month. Unless you’re really low on funds, I don’t see why you would bother with those two options, though: in my (exceedingly unhumble) opinion, your best choices are the twelve-month option or the two-day two-dollar trial, which should give you enough experience with the site to determine if you’re ready to switch over to the long-term deal. You can pay for HentaiPros by paying with any of the big credit cards, but HentaiPros also gives you a bit more choice on top of that. If you were intelligent, thoughtful, or lucky enough to have bought in early on the cryptocurrency craze (like yours truly), but also foolish enough to not have sold when it peaked and instead dumped it when it crashed (like yours truly), you can try to drown out your tears using it in one of the only ways its accepted now—by trading what would have been a fortune a few years ago for a couple of months of porn from HentaiPros today. Alternatively, you can beg mommy for her checkbook, or raid her wallet for old gift cards to trade for a subscription: just watch the exchange rates, because you’re not going to get a perfect trade-in value on these. Just like Gamestop thinks that the video games you gave them sixty dollars for last month are only worth ten now, HentaiPros won’t value fifty dollars at Walmart quite as highly as they’ll value fifty real American dollars. Be aware, though: if you neglect the fine print, HentaiPros will try to squeeze a little bit of extra cash out of you on some of the membership plans. The two day trial will cost a dollar per day during its term, but if you get distracted by the animated titties and forget to either change to another subscription plan or cancel your membership, it will automatically continue at a price of about forty dollars per month until you notice it and switch over to something else. If you let your trial expire you’ll automatically get moved over to paying a price that costs more than you could have even agreed to in the first place. If you had started off by choosing the most expensive subscription you would be spending about third dollars a month, but since you tried to save a bit of money, you’ll be penalized to the tune of an extra ten bucks each month. As if to rub things in on top of that, HentaiPros also charges you an extra fifteen dollar per month fee to unlock the ability to download videos, despite the fact that downloads are used as a selling point on the advertising page, and it isn’t mentioned anywhere that this won’t be included. So if you start with a trial membership, forget to cancel it, and later realize that you want downloads, too, you’ll end up paying a whopping forty-five dollars per month—a far cry from the high point of thirty that HentaiPros presented to you.