BaDoink VR! My mom has really been
losing her shit lately. This morning she came into my room and tried to
steal my anime body princess pillow right out of my bed. I damn near
punched the old broad, but I didn’t want her to kick me out of the joint
or start charging rent. She was ranting about how I needed to bang a
real live girl and stop dry-humping that stinky old, crusty pillow. I
strapped on my VR sex goggles and yelled, “Okay, mom! No more hentai
wolf girls for me! I’m banging real porn sluts at BaDoinkVR!”
I have to assume she left the room once I whipped my dick out, because,
by the time I blew my load and lifted the visor, I was alone with a
couple angry, sticky housecats. Thanks, Riley Reid and Adriana Chechik,
for starring in a killer VR threesome scene, and thanks BaDoinkVR for
delivering that nasty and talented fucking straight to my eyeballs.
(Incidentally, check out this movie called Into the Swing of Things on
the site. The two little brunettes get completely nasty on your virtual
cock. Guess which one squirts!)
Award-Winning, Futuristic VR Porno
BaDoinkVR hit the net in 2015 as part of the first wave of VR sex
paysites. That gives them the upper hand against a lot of the newer
virtual reality porn outfits popping up right now, but BaDoink has an
even longer history than that. They’ve been putting out premium adult
entertainment since 2006. BaDoink ain’t strangers to the fuck movie
industry, and they bring what they learned to these new, futuristic 3D
I could blow a bunch of smoke up your ass about how fucking hot it is,
but I don’t really need to. They won the 2018 AVN Award for VR Site of
the Year, the 2018 Pornhub Award for Most Popular VR Channel, and the
2018 XBIZ award for VR Site of the Year. Not only that, but The Porn
Dude says he loves the site and listed it as one of his top VR sites.
The dude knows his shit and is a personal hero of mine. Sometimes when
I’m wearing my robot sex eyes and jerking off, I imagine I’m The Porn
Dude, sitting on my throne of silicone buttholes and vajayjays as the
king of all things online and erotic.
I mentioned Riley Reid and Adriana Chechik, but they are far from the
only top-tier starlets on the menu here. The full selection of babes
goes on for 23 pages and includes sluts like Brooklyn Gray, Abigail Mac,
and Ariana Marie. Every page I clicked through has girls I’ve been
beating off to and want to beat off to some more, this time in virtual
reality. Gianna Dior, Jynx Maze, and Jade Kush are going to be next on
my virtual sex tour of BaDoinkVR.
Way Cheaper Than My Last Sexual Harassment Lawsuit
They’ve got a one-day trial for a buck, but you only get a single movie
download with that sneak peek. Streaming is passable on the site, but
you have to figure the pixels are right against your corneas so you
really want the highest resolution possible. Until home Internet
connections get a lot better, the only way you’re going to get a really
crisp, clear stream is to jack off in your space helmet at work. Just
tell your boss it’s some kind of medical thing.
“Regular” price for BaDoinkVR is about 35 bucks a month, but right now
that’s crossed out and they’re offering it for 20. Most 2D sites are
charging more than that and they don’t even have a bunch of awards like
these guys. Yearly memberships are even cheaper, and let’s be fucking
real here: it’s not like you’re going to get tired of virtual sex
starlets sucking on your cock, riding it, and introducing you to their
friends so you can all get off together.
If that ain’t enough, you may have just destroyed your libido with all
the bong hits. No worries, though. BaDoink VIP network access is
included, which means you get more than 10,000 2D pornos with your
membership. You also get a weekly virtual reality scene from one of
their other sites. This week it’s some kinky fetish business from
KinkVR. A couple of weeks ago I scored a 3D Scooby Doo bang as a bonus
I know you’ve probably already got some expensive new VR gizmo if you’re
reading this review, but this joint is still giving out free virtual
reality goggles to new members. It’s just a Google Cardboard, which is
now at least two generations outdated, but it’s a decent intro to VR.
Some people think all virtual reality porno is like jacking off in a
scuba mask behind a screen door, so it might be a good idea to test a
free unit before shelling out for that new Oculus.
VR Always Makes Me Cum Too Fast
The latest BaDoinkVR movie is a little something called The Perks of
Art, starring Sophia Leone. She looks like a super slutty version of
Cecily Strong, which is great news for all you freaks who like jacking
off to SNL. I guess it beats trying to laugh at it. I actually chose the
clip because I’m something of an art enthusiast myself. My basement
bedroom is covered in original Pokémon and Dragon Ball Z scat hentai, so
I think me and Sophia would get along really well.
When I put on the VR unit, all the shitting pikachus and squirtles
disappeared from my walls, replaced by some pretentious oil paintings
that have made Sophia horny as all hell. With her lingerie still on, she
rubs her ass against my crotch and then leans in for a kiss. I puckered
my own lips and then ejaculated in my pants, mere seconds before the
horny young babe pulled off my virtual counterpart’s pants.
I need to get some of that cream that numbs your penis so that you don’t
jizz too fast, because this shit always happens to me. Fortunately,
through the magic of prerecorded sex scenes, a.k.a. video pornography, I
was able to jump right back into the action as soon as I had recharged.
The 5K HD is truly a fucking miracle of modern technology. When Sophia
looks up at me while she’s slurping on my virtual Jimmy, it really looks
and feels like were making genuine eye contact. Is this what love feels
like? When Sophia says, “Oh, it feels so fucking good, baby,” is she
really talking about my little two-incher?
You know, I think this binaural audio is getting to me as well. If the
3D video of Sophia bouncing up and down on your video junk doesn’t make
you feel like you’re actually boning her, that 3D sound just might do
the trick. Whatever magic they used to record the stuff, it sounds so
much bigger and more real than you get from traditional sex movies.
Slapping My Monkey with a Space Helmet On
I can see why The Porn Dude loves BaDoinkVR so much. They’ve got the
most beautiful, talented and well-known starlets in the business getting
their brains banged out in some of the hottest fuck movies I’ve ever
seen. Jesus fucking Christ, I’d be slapping the hell out of my monkey
even if I was just watching this on my flat, jizz-spattered laptop
screen. It’s in 3D, though, making me feel like a genuine porn stud by
putting me in the scene.
BaDoinkVR.com is an easy choice for you early adopting tech perverts
looking to fill up your expensive new VR sex box with the latest and
greatest in immersive hardcore pornography. It’s cheaper than a normal
premium adult website and already has one of the biggest collections of
virtual reality sex on the net. I love it, The Porn Dude loves it, and
the critics have given it a bunch of awards. If you’re still not sure,
take a look at the samples on the landing page or try the one-dollar