SkipTheGames! Those of you who have
been following my reviews for a while now know that I have never been
laid. Well, okay, the frank term for this is to say that I am a virgin.
And I’m approaching the door to 40 every day. I don’t know why I haven’t
been able to have sex yet. It’s probably the fact that I freeze up
every time a pretty girl even looks in my direction. Or it could be the
fact that I’m so unattractive even I hesitate to masturbate sometimes.
Okay, that’s definitely a lie. I’ve never hesitated to masturbate in my
entire life. But you get the picture.
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever have sex … you know, with a real woman
and not a sex doll or a pillow that I’ve cut a hole in the back of. At
this point, it definitely doesn’t look likely. But, hey, you never know …
stranger things have happened. If Donald Trump can become president of
the United States, surely I can get laid, right? Maybe if I just put my
mind to it and focus on nothing but that, I can make it happen. There’s
got to be a girl out there, even if she’s as ugly as I am, willing to
throw me a bone.
But, see, that’s another problem. I’ve spent my entire life watching
beautiful women getting banged. For the last 30 or so years, I’ve
watched porn pretty much nonstop, day in and day out. How could I ever
possibly go from that, drooling over girls like Lexi Belle and Bambi
Black only to finally have sex with some equally acne-ridden, socially
awkward, and probably, let’s face it, fat chick? Any girl that would
even consider having sex with me, I probably couldn’t even get it up
for! It’s a real dilemma.
You know who could probably help me is The Porn Dude. He’s saved me many
times before, thanks to his awesome reviews of porn sites. He’s the
very reason that I even started this site, to begin with. Seeing how he
was able to turn his favorite hobby into a career.
I bet if I could just have one conversation with him, he could give me
the right pointers to help me get laid. That guy gets so much snatch.
But, alas, he will not talk to me. I’ve tried to reach out to him more
times than I can count. But he’s way too busy … and, understandably, he
probably hasn’t gotten back to me because he has no time between
crushing puss and writing amazing porn reviews. I just don’t know what
One thing that my friends on porn forums and message boards and NSFW
subreddits keep telling me is to just order an escort. And in the past, I
have found the idea, if I’m being completely honest, to be a little
intimidating. I mean, these ladies of the night are professionals, after
all. How embarrassing it would be to whip out my tiny little boner and
then probably jizz right there on the spot, as soon as they even come
close to putting their lips upon it.
I couldn’t live with the shame. But, as time goes on, I have been
starting to warm up to the idea. Yesterday I even went so far as to text
a girl I found on an escort directory website. She responded, though,
and I froze up … I just couldn’t bring myself to respond. Besides, where
was I going to have her meet me? At my mom’s house? No way, Jose. Not
Let’s Get Down to Business
Either way, every day I get a little closer to making it happen. So,
even though I have never ordered an escort myself, I am quite familiar
with all of the escort ad sites on the web. And, as is the case with any
site (porn-related or otherwise), some are much better than others. The
site I was using yesterday, though, and, therefore, the site I will be
telling you about today is called Skip the Games. Maybe you’ve heard of
Aptly titled, Skip the Games is all about you being able to find a chick
to screw for cash without having to jump through any of the annoying
hoops or registrations that other sites require. So, already, right off
the bat, Skip the Games has a level of convenience and ease of use that
their competitors, many of them, are very palpably lacking. And the site
itself, too, is set up to reflect this.
As soon as you arrive on Skip the Games’ home page, you can get straight
to business. Their sparse site design and intuitive interface make it
easier than ever for you to start looking for your female companion
right away. All you will see is an image of a condom sitting in a
heart-shaped jewelry box, which is a clever logo, implying the trade-off
of sex for ‘gifts,’ sort of playing on the way in which escorts (and
patrons) need to be careful to toe the line when exchanging goods and
services for money. Oftentimes, girls will refer to the cash as a
“donation” for their time; or a “gift” with which you are to spoil them.
Many places in the world, after all, still have rather archaic laws
regarding the sex trade. So, it’s probably good to play it safe if you
live in, say, the United States.
Then, above that logo, you’ll find everything you need to get your
search going. Just fill in the blanks of their search protocol. Choose
your gender, what you’re looking for, pick your city and state, and then
specify with keywords (i.e. blonde, Asian, black, etc.) to find exactly
what you’re looking for. They couldn’t make it any easier.
Plenty of Services, Easy to Use
Skip the Games even offers more than merely female escorts for you to
browse. They also host ads for male escorts (if that’s your thing … or
maybe you want to buy a friend something special for her birthday),
trans escorts, massage providers or massage studios (we all deserve a
happy ending, don’t you think?), domination or fetish services, private
stripper or strip clubs in your area, and adult job postings (maybe you
could become a porn star!). So, Skip the Games has a plethora of
different opportunities for you (and your wiener) to explore.
Once you decide on what you want and conduct your easy as heck search,
though, the site starts to show its downfalls. I really do not like the
way they curate your search results. For some reason, instead of showing
you separate, unique posts with a thumbnail image to represent each,
you’ll just find a chaotic jumble of thumbnails, each image that has
been uploaded. So, that means that if one girl uploaded, say, 7 pictures
to her ad, instead of being offered one link where you can see those
seven pics if you click on it, you’ll see 7 different links, all for the
same profile. This is really annoying and, honestly, makes it much more
difficult than it has to be.
Just a Couple Flaws, but Worth it…
If you can get over this, though, most of the escorts provide a wealth
of information. And this is, surprisingly, somewhat rare when it comes
to these kinds of ads. I get that girls need to preserve their privacy
and whatnot (particularly in places where their profession is
criminalized), but still … how am I to know if I want to enlist your
services if you do not provide all of the relevant information for me to
make that decision? On Skip the Games, though, more often than not,
girls will post enough pics to get a good idea of what they look like,
contact information, what services they are willing to provide
(positions, condom/no condom, fetishes, etc.).
The one thing, though, that I wish that Skip the Games would make a
requirement for all posters is the price point. Far too many of these
girls are not posting their prices, which means that you have to go out
of your way to contact them, oftentimes only to discover that they are
charging way too much. So, that’s not really skipping the games, is it?
If anything, they’re creating a whole new game of texting or calling
multiple numbers, just to shop around.
All in all, though, minus a couple of design snafus and the fact that
price listing is not required, Skip the Games is a great escort
directory site with plenty of girls (who post plenty of pics) in cities
all over the world. I definitely recommend checking it out if you’re in
the market for some snatch!