4 Tube! It’s no secret that I never get laid. It does not matter who you ask in my offline or online life: mother, the priest that used to love listening to me confess, the butcher on Baker’s Street that shows up to, ‘service mother,’ (and call names I can’t even fathom typing after she’s passed out), or anyone from my guild. It’s important to define which guild though: everyone from my World of Warcraft guild (Paladin’s Light) knows I’m a virgin. From my Dungeons and Dragons group, everyone knows I’m a virgin. The tarot card forum though? They all think I’m making sweet, passionate love to an Asian female on the regular like I’m ThePornDude. What I forgot to mention is the only Asian I’ve been having intimate sessions with is Sheila, my Hentai pillow. She recently left me for one reason or another. Sheila didn’t really explain herself, but mother tells me, “she left your bitch faggot ass for a sock full of cum!” OH MOTHER, PLEASE TELL ME IT ISN’T SO! PLEASE TELL ME YOU DON’T THINK OF YOUR SON THAT WAY AND IT WAS JUST THE DRUGS! IT WOULD PUT MY MIND AT EASE IF IT WAS SO! MAY I WALK THE PRIMROSE PATH IF THIS IS HOW YOU THINK OF ME FOR YOUR SWEET BABY BOY IS DAMNED! Now I know what those songs about losing the love of your life are all about. I’ve been sneaking cough medicine every night just to ease the pain. I wouldn’t put this kind of pain on my worst enemy (Charles from a local LARPING guild, ‘Charles’ Band of Mighty Men’). I hate my worst enemy because he wouldn’t let me join (and he stole my precious tiger lady anime figure) so that’s saying a lot! Cough medicine never eased the pain but 4tube.com did! It’s a free tube site that’s similar to a lot of the ones you’ll find scattered across the interwebs, but 4tube does some new things you’re not going to find at a lot of similar sites. Is 4tube the answer to a broken heart, or will it leave you with a sticky mess in your tighty whities and an unfulfilled love life? Let’s find out.
A heaping helping of categories more fulfilling than mother’s cooking
I have a real beef with mother since she insulted my love life and Sheila. To say the love of my life was attracted to nothing more than a sock filled with gooey sperm makes my blood boil hotter than the hatred I felt for Sephiroth when he killed Aeris in Final Fantasy VII! That old bat has yet to fix her Internet monitoring software so I can say what I want! I was more fulfilled by the categories of 4tube than mother’s cooking (that is not saying a lot since she throws canned beans on a plate and calls it supper *spits and makes an angry mean face*). 4tube does something smart: they list the most popular categories on a drop-down menu first meaning you’re probably going to find something you are looking for. If the most popular categories do not tickle your pee-pee though you can choose, ‘All Categories,’ and you will find a huge list of categories available to search. It’s an impressive list that’s certain to have whatever you want to look at including virtual reality porn! It shows that 4tube is versatile in what it offers and that’s always a good thing! It’s just like when you get pizza rolls for a long night of Japanese roleplaying: you can choose between pepperoni, cheese, three cheese, and extra pepperoni; like a pizza roll, more choice is always good!
Playlists for when you are in a certain mood
A feature I rarely see when I’m browsing pornos and dry jacking is a playlist for the type of mood you are in. A lot of times I just want to watch a mature Asian female give a man a good massage, whisper words of encouragement in his ear, tell him she wants to tug on his wiener not because you paid her $200 extra dollars but because she wants to make you feel like a man. The playlists at 4tube can help you to find exactly what you need to watch and for me that puts 4tube at an advantage over a lot of other free tube sites. It may seem like a small addition but it’s a huge deal when you do not know what to watch but know the kind of mood you are in.
Ability to search by pornstars and popular porn channels
4tube also allows you to search by pornstars and even by popular porn channels like Brazzers. It may not seem like a special addition but it’s a good addition when you know who or the type of brand you want to watch but you cannot settle on a good video. Sometimes you want to find a video of a pornstar that only shows off while dressed in cosplay: when in that mood 4tube definitely delivers. And when you find a pornstar that does do cosplay? Write her name down and follow her all over the Internet! You never know what someone will dress up like next and you never want to miss their costumes! I long for the day when a community of white knight geeks like myself will get together, form a website where cosplaying females can talk and show off their gear, collection of anime and games, and just chat with the men that want to tip them and raise them up to a new level of wokeness! I wish I could find these men, I would never leave the site and would be satisfied forever. And if someone dressed up like Misty from Pokemon, I would dress up in my finest Poketrainer outfit and ask her to marry me.
Very easy to navigate on desktop and mobile
There is nothing worse than trying to browse a free tube site that isn’t laid out well. I will be honest: I have a bad case of sticky fingers. When I dry jack my penis for the first time of the night I usually have nothing to wipe my hands off with except my bedsheets: when you have been roleplaying on a community server as a sophisticated troll all night and your belly is full of pizza rolls that is a lot to ask (and a long walk to the bed). So sometimes I have to browse with semen on my hands as it is. A well-designed website makes it so I can get back to admiring the females in the videos on the site despite having my hands coated in sexual webbing. I imagine myself like Spider-Man when this happens: trying to find his Mary Jane while covered in his web from defeating Doc Ock once again. The mobile and desktop versions of 4tube allow me to keep this fantasy alive thanks to its ease of use!
4tube Premium is cheap but doesn’t explain too much what you are getting
I couldn’t figure out what you got with 4tube Premium though. It is obvious you can view exclusive VIP videos on 4tube and videos from other sites in the network but other than that I was confused by the advertising. Even so, it looks promising and is worth at least doing a cheap few day trial! If I can steal mother’s credit card again I will most definitely be signing up for this!
Can still download videos without signing up for 4tube Premium
Some tube sites will not let you download their videos without signing up for a premium account. This is not the case with 4tube! Not only that but you can download videos in any resolution they are streamable in (as long as you don’t try to download a VIP video without a 4tube Premium account). I downloaded several gigabytes worth of hairy vagina Asian porn that I could tuck away when mother turns off my Internet again. When this happens she takes away all of my devices, so I had to print the videos off and make a flipbook out of it. When she strikes again, I will be ready to flip through the pages and watch the scene unfold as I touch my little pee-pee.
Great quality with most videos in HD
A good way to measure whether a free tube site respects its females or not is if the videos are uploaded in HD or if they reside to being in a poopy 180p. 4tube (often misspelled as "4 Porn" and "Tube4") most certainly respects the females on this site, as most of the videos are not only in HD but have a 1080p option. I watched a hairy man slide his dingus inside of a woman’s hot pooping hole in glorious 1080p and it felt like I could actually crawl on the man’s giant tree branch like a spider monkey and slide inside of her hot potato to live forever. 1080p porn is amazing: the only thing better would be Star Trek VR porn!