Got porn! Free porn sites are the core part of this industry as much as they are the core part of my life as well. It's okay, I'm perfectly aware that this is a pathetic thing to state, but what can you do, the truth is the truth, and there's no doubt about that. My name is the PornGeek, also known as that guy on the internet that idolizes another guy that writes porn reviews too, but ThePornDude is much more relaxed than me. So he gets a pass as the OG. Anyways, welcome back to another one of these, and today we are going to be reviewing this great free porn site called GotPorn.com, and indeed, they've got the porn. Enjoy.
The first look and also the first impression
When you get in on GotPorn.com, you'll see that everything looks just the way it should look, and there's not a single thing that looks like it doesn't belong here. They have the videos listed below, side by side, letting you pick an exciting one right at the beginning. They have a neat listing of categories, models, videos, photos, and channels right at the top, and that's it. Everything looks so well organized that it merely reminds you of those times you've spent at your grandma's house in fear of knocking anything off the table because everything looks crisp and she'd get pissed off. But in the best possible way. And also, one astounding thing is the fact that I can't see a single ad, even though this is a free site. So it looks like GotPorn.com is totally respectable and clean, just like my dad was before he got into prescription meds.
Navigation and how the site works in general
Navigation literally couldn't be more straightforward, because it almost doesn't even exist. As I previously said, besides the list of videos, there really is not much that you need to bang your head about. If you want to watch GotPorn.com's videos, just put your cursor over the videos section, and every possible way of browsing will pop out. If you wish to see top-rated, most viewed, longest, recommended, HQ videos or whatever, they have it all. They're like that 7-eleven store that works 24/7 and supplies you with whatever you need, whether it's the condoms or the much-needed glue for sniffing. I also learned that from my dad, which is sad, but whatever. Moving on from the videos, and getting into the model's section now, before I start to cry because of this. One fantastic thing is that models are also very nicely organized in their division, with just thumbnails after thumbnails, tickling your brain and private parts. It looks like a high school yearbook and only takes you to those awkward times of jealousy when you used to look at cheerleaders and wonder why they didn't pick you. And why they didn't want to go to prom with you... But the main difference is, today you actually get to see them naked and take dicks up all of their holes, which is super amazing. And all that free of charge as well. The GotPorn.com's channels section literally looks cleaner than Youtube, which is super surprising. It's just a production house after production house posting their steamy and hot content and giving it to you for free. If I didn't know that this is about porn, I literally would've thought that someone's giving me a puppy and an ice cream, and telling me that it's going to be okay and that it doesn't matter that I'm such a retarded failure. Wait for a second. I have to go hug my mom now. Oh, mommy... And also, the last thing that you need to see here - the pictures. If you want to relive that yearbook experience a little bit more, and indulge in the fantasy where your high school crush might actually want to fuck you (which is what I'm doing right now), GotPorn.com has some fantastic pictures that'll help you do that as well. These are mostly galleries of various pornstars and models I guess, but that's understandable for two reasons. One, these girls are fire. I don't remember having a bigger erection in a long time, and this is the first time I've also seen my dick working correctly since I was sixteen. If this is how ThePornDude feels every day, it's incredible. Shame I can't do it. Which also brings us to reason number two. Why you can't see ordinary people posting their pictures as much? Well, as I mentioned before, there are no ads here, so it looks like they are mostly posting content from high profile people in this industry as unconventional means of making money, which is super respectable.
One thing that got my attention about GotPorn.com's categories right at the beginning is the way they organized them. Instead of putting in like a specific category with a picture thumbnail, boring you to death, taking up space and making you move around (Woah, literally the description of my fat mother, fuck), they just put in their names, and that's it. Literally. And also, the amount of categories is totally respectable, and they don't make them up until they collect like three hundred of them. Like my mom does with used ice cream packages... And also, another exciting thing that you can find on GotPorn.com besides the categories are the tags. If you're an abomination that hasn't seen a bit of sunlight in months because he's busy jerking off to porn, like me, then you have some specific, but fucked up fetishes as well — and sometimes browsing in categories in order to find a video that contains that particular fetish can take a while or be a pain in the ass. In those cases, we use the tags. Well, their list of tags is long as fuck, and you can practically find anything you ever imagined here. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if some of you found your own parents in a couple of videos. Luckily, one thing that's good about having a retarded family is the fact that they rarely even use the computer, let alone know how to post on shady porn sites.
Registration and conclusion
Registration is pretty easy, which is also fucking fantastic because it's not boring as fuck. You put in your email, form a username and a password, and you're ready to fucking go. From then on, you can use this site as you wish and you can also upload your own content if you have an account, which is definitely helpful and exciting. Some of you that actually possess the ability to find a mate that'll find you attractive enough to copulate with you should probably take advantage of this situation. I know I definitely won't be, but that's okay as well. GotPorn.com's got me hooked on their site, and I guess I'm going to be a regular visitor to their site from now on. Anyways, to conclude this excellent review, I have to say that I'm impressed. I usually can't wait to check out the site and then nitpick their flaws in order to make myself feel better and cure my insecurities even for a second. It makes me feel like ThePornDude, even if it lasts for a few brief moments. But not with GotPorn.com (often misspelled as "gotporno" and "gotpron"). Its organization is practically perfect, and its content is fucking fantastic, the videos are fresh, enjoyable, satisfying, and - there are no fucking ads! Now, I don't know how they make their fucking money or whatever, but since there is rarely any amateur content, looks like they milk their partnerships as hard as they can, which is something that I understand and respect, especially if we get to taste the fruits of their labor. And these are some of the tastiest 'fruits' I ever tried if we're not counting my mom's tits while she was still looking good, and I was small. She says I used to love to suck on them. We looked like such a happy family. I don't know what happened... Wait. What? Oh, I'm sorry, this is just a temporary feeling. Anyways, before you can notice the bitchy tone in my sentences, I'm going to have to end this. Peace out!